“They’re different from the Catholic girls you’d be used to!”

But when I got into the bar, I thought, “these girls don’t look so tough.

“I reckon I’ve got bigger muscles than 60 per cent of them.”

So I sat down in the corner with my apple cider and I see a uni girl looking at me from the dance floor.

She smiled at me. I thought, “that’s weird!”.

I’d never had a girl smile at me before. So I smiled back at her.

Then, as she’s smiling, she rolled her eyes at me. I thought, “that’s weird!”.

So I picked her eyes up off the floor and I rolled them back to her.

I decided there and then, “I think I’ll go and be a priest!” 

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What words of wisdom can I give to someone just starting university? The word university means a “whole”.

It’s where all knowledge unites; where truth, beauty and goodness come together. 

This being the case, an important lesson at university is to avoid like the plague all things that will lead you away from truth, beauty or goodness. 

You want to avoid the overly alcoholic corners of university. Why?

Your mission as a student is not to cloud your judgement but rather the opposite.

Many a person does today what they once thought wrong; but then they did it for the first time while “under the influence” and once you’ve done something once ...   

Avoid university protests of any kind. University protesters are the antithesis of university.

They’ll shout out about freedom of speech as they ironically shout over somebody expressing their freedom of speech.

Your day to shine will come when you will do and teach and write, but for now, read great books and fill your mind with truth, beauty and goodness so that when your time to shine comes even your adversaries will find your eloquence irresistible.    

Finally, do your work and do it first! Make yourself a timetable and stick to it.

If you do your work first you have your pleasure to look forward to; but if you have your fun first, your fun is spoiled by your nagging undone work in the back of your mind.

Now stop procrastinating reading newspaper articles and get back to your studies!