OPINION: Caring enough to abandon social structures

Women are the carers.

And men are the stable and tough members of the family.

The traditional breadwinners.

Social expectations and the natural order are rarely substituted for behaviours outside the norm.

It's especially the case for those older generations, which are generally steadfast in a lifetime of routine and repetition.

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Quite often, the monotony of what people believe is normal can change in an instant.

It only takes a single life-changing moment or the suffering of a significant other to change our perspectives on everything.

An unavoidable and unexpected turn of events, raising fresh questions of where we fit in the world.

Someone so long reliant on a partner, a parent or significant other for any sort of assistance, love or care can within an instant have the roles reversed.

But more often than not, when it comes to our loved ones, we do whatever’s needed, and we pull through.

The few men at the Carers’ Week morning tea in Griffith on Tuesday can certainly relate to swapping traditional roles.

John McDonald and Dave Parker both care for their wives with dementia.

They stood out like a sore thumb on Tuesday, but for all the right reasons.

These two loyal husbands were the only two male carers in the region to attend Carers Week events.

According to 2015 Australia Bureau of Statistics data, over two thirds of the carers in Australia are female.

While Mr McDonald and Mr Parker were significantly outnumbered by all the female carers at the event, more important was they felt they could come together with like-minded people.

Any social expectations regarding gender were put aside as they shared stories of similar experiences and broke the barriers of the traditional gender divide.

While they made up the numbers of male carers exclusively at the Griffith event, they’re certainly not the only males devoting 24 hours a day and seven days a week to caring for their loved ones.

And like every other carer at the event, Mr McDonald and Mr Parker didn’t arrive looking for accolades or a pat on the back.

But kudos to them, for bucking the trend and embracing the community they unexpectedly find themselves a part.