Dr William Glasser believes that the most mental illnesses stem from relationship problems. Be they, husband-wife, parent-child, teacher-student or manager-worker relationships.

He states that learning to get along with people who are important to us is the key to mental health.

For this to occur, we need to remove all external control from our lives. How do we do this?

In order to be healthy and happy, we need to stop blaming, criticising, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing and bribing (rewarding to control).

He calls these the 'seven deadly habits.' This is the assumption that we know what is right for another and they should change their behaviour accordingly.

Instead, we should replace those habits with the 'seven caring habits' of supporting, encouraging, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting and negotiating differences.

After all, the only behaviour we can control is our own and any attempt to control someone else will harm our relationship with them.

The fundamental flaw in mental health is choosing behaviours that we believe are the most satisfying at the time regardless of how self-destructive they are (for example, blaming, complaining, violence, drug use, self-harm, suicide).

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All behaviour is our best attempt to have our needs met at that point in time.

Strengthening our ability to cope with the stress of daily life is the key to mental health.

We need to apply ourselves to becoming mentally 'fit' in order to choose new behaviours and habits, the type of behaviours that will move us closer to the life we imagined, instead of further away.

Imagine how we might feel if we took control of our lives, responsibility for our happiness and left behind the desire to blame other people and situations.

Are you up for the challenge?

If you or someone you know needs help contact;