Ouch. Yes, I am.

My neck's so stiff I haven't seen anything to my right for over a week. And don't get me started on my calf muscles.

Don't worry, I've got a gun in my bag.

Steady on! I'm not that far gone.

Relax. I'm tooled up with the must-have piece of health recovery kit.

All the celebrities and fitness influencers are raving about them. Mine's a TimTam.

Thanks, but I've already tried that. All the chocolate biscuits in the world aren't going to ease this pain.

Let me bring you up to speed. Several settings, in fact. My TimTam is one of the cool brands of massage gun.

These high-tech, portable massaging machines are said to be just as effective as a real therapist ironing out your kinks.

Miranda Kerr has Instagrammed hers and Chris Hemsworth keeps one in his backpack.

I've seen pictures of them. Looks like a cordless drill, right?

Yes - or a hairdryer with protuberances. Massage guns use 'percussive therapy,' a term coined by US chiropractor Dr Jason S Wersland, who invented the daddy of them all, the Theragun.

The gun's tip vibrates at up to 2400 percussions per minute to ease tight muscles and boost circulation.

This oscillation replicates the type of pressure and motion a massage therapist would use - and it goes deep.

It worked wonders for my WFH shoulders, which had climbed so high I felt like I was wearing them as earrings.

I have a feeling this essential piece of kit isn't cheap.

If you want to go the full Miranda, you're looking at $899 for a Theragun PRO.

What?! That's huge coin for a massage that doesn't come with ambient lighting, aromatherapy oils and a bedside manner. Why so expensive?

The best ones deliver optimum reliability, vibration and battery life with minimum noise.

I'm going to say it. Last time I shopped for a personal electronic portable device that promised all those things, it cost under $50.

And I'm wondering if that particular gadget might actually do the same job as Miranda's fancy gun.

Perhaps, but you wouldn't Instagram yourself with it in the gym café. Admit it - that would be rather fun.