When we are experiencing doubt and our problems are influencing us, how can we use the view others have of us as support in times of stress, anxiety or depression?
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When we are faced with problems we can feel isolated and disconnected from friends, family and colleagues.
We can feel that we are on our own and no one could possibly know how we feel.
We may feel shame for our problems. This becomes our dominant story, notice I didn't say true story!.
Re-membering is a term coined by Barbara Myerhoff (1982) and is used to illuminate an alternative story to the one playing over and over in our head.
Usually a therapist will guide this process but here are a few tips to help you be the master of your own mind when you can.
Think about someone who knows you well in a certain way. Could be a colleague, friend, family member, could even be a pet or a symbol.
What do they believe you stand for? What do they know about you that reflects your core being? Do they know of a certain skill you have? Or maybe a quality?
How would they describe you and your skill or quality? When would they have first noticed this about you? How do you know they think or believe this about you?
MORE TEA AND TALK
If we allow this process and really commit to it, we soon see an alternative story to the dominant or negative story ruminating in our head.
Then we can ask ourselves how to apply these accounts in life.
For example, if my friends describe me as strong and determined, how can I apply these skills to help myself with my current problem?
How do I apply these abilities in other areas of my life that I can transfer to my current issue?
The 'problem' is never our whole story.
Take the word of your friend and use it to your gain!