To be intimate is to be vulnerable and to embrace our fears. Intimacy is risky.

If I am to be completely intimate in my relationship with you, I must be open enough to allow you to challenge and change me, yet secure enough to not want to change you - to allow you to be completely yourself.

Relationships are a never ending exchange of projections. Just like a mirror, they reflect all the parts of ourselves.

In the beginning, we see nothing but beauty in our partner. They shine like a star. We are struck by their divine light.

Being in love is to see our own beauty reflected back to us. We are seeing our own wonder in someone else.

This sounds okay so far, right? Wrong!

When we project onto someone else, we no longer see them as who they are, but as who we need them to be.

Now we are in the danger zone.

All of a sudden, the dizziness stagnates and we become annoyed by the little things, we wonder where the person we fell in love with, went.

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For example, Tom fell in love with Suzie.

Tom loved her strength and determination, he loved her passion - a reflection of his own qualities that he doesn't honour in himself.

Over time, Tom becomes annoyed by her outspoken nature and her ability to think differently to him.

He feels threatened by the very qualities he fell in love with.

The relationship begins to break down.

Only when we release our partner from the projection of how we need them to be, can we forge a healthy, liberating journey together.

To be intimate is to be curious and open.

It is not safe but it is an adventure!