The one telling you, you are not good enough, not attractive enough or not smart enough?

Let's call that voice the Inner Critic. Let me tell you how to tame it.

The Inner Critic casts doubts on our goals and sets out to sabotage our accomplishments.

It can even impact on our relationships, "He doesn't really love you, he won't stay with you, nobody stays with you".

It's an old voice, one that has been with us since we were very young.

TEA AND TALK: Making working from home work

From a young age, we may have been ridiculed and seen or experienced hurtful attitudes towards us.

Over time, we take on these attitudes as if they are true and they become part of who we think we are.

Sometimes this voice can keep us safe, "Don't go there, it may be dangerous".

More often than not, the Inner Critic gets in the way of living a positive and fulfilling life, "You're a fraud, everyone knows you are no good at your job".

So how do we overcome this problem? How do we transform the Inner Critic to an Inner Guide for example?

The most important skill to learn, is to become aware that negative thoughts about yourself is really just the Inner Critic at play.

TEA AND TALK: Behaviour can be a reaction to loss of control

Think about the dialogue in your mind. What is it saying right now? Is that message going to take you towards success and fulfilment or away from it?

If it's taking you away from it, take it on. Acknowledge that this 'voice' is not necessarily an accurate viewpoint.

You can change the viewpoint with practice and persistence.

Turn the negative message into a positive one, "You will never get this finished" becomes "Keep persisting, you will get this done".

Awareness is everything. You may not be able to control your situation, but you can control your thoughts. Start there!