As manager of The Salvation Army Crisis Centre, Murrumbidgee Accommodation and Housing Services, she has recently seen a spike in domestic violence related cases in Griffith and Leeton.

"In the last two or three weeks, I would say two out of four people I've seen are fleeing domestic violence situations," she said.

Helping with immediate needs for women, children, and on the odd occasion men, she helps provide safe housing, food, clothing as well as hooking them up with services they need to regain control of their situation. The hardest part for her is the "emotional pull".

"They run through the relief, the fear, tears and anger, and you have to sit back and let it all run through them, and then ask, what do you need now.

"They then ask things like, what if he comes here? I say we lock the doors, call the police, that they are in a safe place now."

Once things progress for them with police and in court, that brings the reward.

"I don't want to become hardened and cynical by what I see, but I want to open doors and help these people, and encourage the community to do the same."

Ms Kilgower says while so much awareness has been raised already, it is still a hidden crime.

"I think there would be another 30 to 40 per cent of people I don't see that are suffering in silence... people don't drill down. They don't think of it as their friend, their neighbour, they think 'oh it's another campaign'."

One of the big things she would like to see change is the language we use to describe domestic abuse.

"'Domestic violence' brings images of the physical and sexual abuse to mind - but its financial, emotional, psychological as well.

"We need to spread the good news stories - because there are ways out. Talk to us. Talk to someone. We can put you on the pathway to get out and create a new life for you, for your children.

"What we have is not enough. Women are dying. Children are suffering. The community needs to say no."

Once there is that change, she says people would be more aware of what's going on.

But what she is most passionate about, is urging everyone to speak up.

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"Would you ring the police if you heard something next door? Offer something. Be safe - but do something to help. Ring 000, especially if there are kids, but the fact that it's occurring is abuse.

"It takes a whole community to stand up and say we won't tolerate this anymore."

If you need help, contact Murrumbidgee Accommodation and Housing Service on 0432 001 163 or go to 103 Binya Street, Griffith.

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