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We have hundreds of friends on Facebook but when something goes wrong, no one to call.
Humans are social beings by nature, we like to feel as though we are part of a group – this could be family, friends, cultural group or work place.
What is loneliness?
Loneliness is a distressing experience that occurs when a person’s social relationships are perceived by that person to be less than what they desire.
Loneliness doesn’t have to be physically isolating, a person can be physically part of a group but if they don’t feel as though they belong intrinsically, it can be just as isolating as being stranded on a deserted island.
Loneliness consiquenses
The most well know consequence of loneliness is depression but those suffering from loneliness are also at high rate of suicide, have higher level of perceived stressed, poor sleep quality and register higher circulating cortisol levels (stress hormone).
Loneliness in childhood can have lasting effects on those well into our adult lives.
Neglect and emotional abuse as a child can cause these children to grow up, withdrawing from peers because of a sense of shame or a perception that they are unwanted.
Alternatively, these same people may cling to the feeling of loneliness because it is familiar and safer than a more social unknown.
It is important that we expose our children to a range of social experience as they develop; so that they are able to build the skills and confidence to engage with others at a personal level.
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Furthermore, children that find it difficult to engage or failure to connect with their peers is predicted to be one of the real reasons a number of student’s choose to leave school and university.
The consequences of loneliness aren’t just psychological.
Loneliness and weak social connections are associated with a lower life expectancy; similar to that caused by smoking fifteen cigarettes a day and even greater than that associated with obesity.
It has also been linked to weakening our immune system and higher rates of heart disease and stroke.
New studies have shown that those that are lonely are also more likely to present to the doctor or hospital not solely for medical care but also for the social engagement.
As health professionals we need to develop better ways of identifying these individuals and linking them in with services that can empower and help build social connections and friendships.
Recommendations
1. Volunteer: Griffith has a large number of services that are calling for volunteers, it could be assisting at a men’s shed, helping with bake sales or joining a number of charity groups such as rotary.
2. Plan for regular one:one catch ups: it’s easy to pick up the phone or tag a friend in a social media post but being in a person presence re-enforces connection.
3. Hug your loved ones longer: Hugging someone for greater than 20 seconds results in a natural high (oxytocin release), that builds trust and strengths positive relationships.
4. Have a work best friend: A work we can be surrounded by people constantly but feel very alone, having a work best friends can help to create that feeling of belong in a workplace.
If you are feeling socially isolated or depressed it is important that you speak with your GP, health care professionals and online at Beyondblue.