Victoria's budget surplus is the envy of governments around the country – a $1.9 billion war chest that will surge to $9.2 billion over the next four years.
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Unless, of course, the state blows it all on spin doctors first.
The ink on Tim Pallas' budget papers was barely dry when ads went online for a "director of strategic communications" for the newly created Level Crossing Removal Authority (LXRA). It seems the LXRA is in desperate need of a highly paid spinner, PR guru, communications expert and/or reputation manager to help sell the story that knocking down boom gates and building a new railway line to Mernda is a good thing.
The "total remuneration package" for this arduous task? A salary range of $189,952 to $304,034 a year for the right candidate. Plus a subsidised car under the "executive vehicle scheme". And a car parking spot. And a petrol card.
It means the successful spin doctor could earn more than the $290,000 a year paid to Premier Daniel Andrews.
So what skills are needed for this plum new role? The candidate will need to provide "high-level advice and strategic solutions to issues across the LXRA program of works", be responsible for "proactive and high-level management of stakeholders" and be able to "interpret complex situations, both current and potential".
They will also have the ability to "effectively anticipate potential communications, media or political issues before they arise".
It's just one of many such jobs taxpayers will have to fund in coming years, as the Andrews government tries to sell its economic credentials. But we shouldn't be surprised. After all, this is the state government that hired Lara Bingle's acting coach to help train cabinet ministers not long after winning power.
Expect a stampede of ex-journos along Spring Street in coming weeks, all trying to get in their CVs in by the May 15 cut-off date.
Sadly, they may be out of luck. Word is the job has already been promised.
VICTORY DANCE
Melbourne Victory held its annual Victory in Business Lunch at Crown on Friday, and you could see envy in the eyes of rival AFL club staffers.
Richmond, Hawthorn and Carlton all had employees at the Palladium Ballroom, where Victory's commercial manager Jim Christo had crammed in 1280 people, paying $185 a head. "It's an astonishingly successful event," said one.
The power table included former premier Ted Baillieu, Westfield chief executive and Football Federal of Australia chairman Steven Lowy and Chief Commissioner of Police Graham Ashton.
They came from all walks of life, from city stockbroking firms such as Patersons to luxury car dealerships,
It was nice to see some of the old families of Melbourne's fruit markets represented at the lunch, with tables near the police commissioner inhabited by members of the Madafferi, Benvenuto and Brancatisano fruit industry families.
The police commissioner was also sitting not too far from some "men of good ilk", as former police officer John Moncrieff had bought a table at the lunch, in the name of his MonJon security firm.
Moncrieff made headlines back in 2011, when news broke of "The Brotherhood", his invitation-only lunch group of the city's legal, business and policing elite.
According to an ombudsman's report tabled in state Parliament, The Brotherhood fostered a culture allowing "inappropriate networking and improper exchanging of favours and information". One of Ashton's predecessors, Simon Overland, once said The Brotherhood had "the potential to undermine confidence in public institutions – especially policing".
Moncrieff branded the report a "beat-up" at the time, and said he was considering changing the group's name to MOGI (Men of Good Ilk).
THE HECKLER
Points for trying to legendary Australian singer Daryl Braithwaite, who opened the show at Victory's big soiree at Crown. Midway through his hit As the Days Go By, Braithwaite held up his microphone and called for some audience participation, only to get complete silence from 1280 people. He must know how Tanya Plibersek felt, after she was "fresh aired" by Governor-General Peter Cosgrove. Credit to Braithwaite, who kept trying and battled a crowd more interested in their prawn cocktails. He finally managed to get a couple of tables to sing along to his marquee hit Horses. We will put it down to the mood of the room, after Victory were eliminated from the finals in the dying minutes of their match against Brisbane.
