IT'S the stuff of childhood nightmares, a cauliflower so big you can't slip it under the tablecloth or feed it to the dog.
This 10kg behemoth was wrestled out of the ground on Saturday by Bilbul granddad Gino Farronato, a deft hand at growing gigantic fruit and veg.
Despite his fertile channel bank soil yielding a 13kg sweet potato just a few years back, Gino said he still got "a hell of a shock" when he unearthed the colossal cauliflower.
"I thought 'it's a miracle'," he said.
"I've never seen anything like it."
Making the feat more remarkable was the fact Gino used no artificial fertilisers or sprays, instead relying on chicken manure, ash to repel insects and some TLC.
"I made sure I gave it a lot of water, especially when it was young," he said.
So, what next for this mutant vegetable?
"I think we'll have a big family feast," Gino said, much to the horror of his assembled grandchildren.
It's not quite a world record, but it's not far off.
According to several websites, the world's biggest cauliflower was grown in Alaska in 1997, and was only marginally bigger than Gino's at 14.1kg.